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Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.