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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
One day I`ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.