Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to open the vodka is the smartest.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.