Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My wife didn`t appreciate me pointing out that my alcoholism began around the time that we first started dating.
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
If a cannibal is late to dinner do they give him the cold shoulder?
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?