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"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
Youth is wasted on the young.