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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
My favorite beer is the next one.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.