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Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.