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Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.
The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.