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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Jesus said to love your neighbour like you love yourself. Thats a nice saying but if Martin from next door thinks he`s getting a handjob he can f*ck off!
I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape