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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.