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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.