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Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
Camping is fun if you`re into pretending that you`re homeless.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...