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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*