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Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
The wet spot in my bed is tears
I saw a book titled Learning To Read For Dummies. At first I thought that sounded insulting, but then I realized anybody who would be insulted by that title wouldn`t even know what it says.
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe