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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.