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I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
The fastest way to get someone to call you back is to take a shower.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.