Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
This guy at the gym just did four sets of selfies.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.