Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
If I say β€œit’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.