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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
If a dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
"is Pepsi ok?" - my coke dealer, tryin to be funny
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Iām convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.