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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!