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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of