Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I text a lot.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.