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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.