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Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.