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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
It`s amazing what you`ll wear in public when you`re not trying to have sex with anyone.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
The secret to success is in my bra.
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
I hope Breaking Bad ends with Jesse waking up from a dream in the middle of Mr. White`s chemistry class.
Every new day means new opportunities... to make mistakes and f*ck things up.
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.