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I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy