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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page