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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.