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Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...