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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I`d miss you, but I`d still love you."
A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, `Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car`
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.