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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!