Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Remember if you ask me to put sun lotion on your back, I am definitely drawing something dirty while I`m back there.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they`ll erase what they did during the week.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.