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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."