Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
If I say “it’s a great day to be alive,” it’s because those are literally my only plans.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.