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A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell “Aaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
I did a half hour on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I`m up to 1 hour a day. I`m slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.