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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.