Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...