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I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.