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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
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Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, text them when you’re drunk.
That fact that I need sun glasses to open my fridge means my night must have been awesome.