Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.