Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I`m gone.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead but other people do. The same is true when you are stupid.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.
Carrots may be good for your eyes, but alcohol will double your vision.
I always write `wake up` on my to-do-list so I can at least accomplish one thing a day