Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Maybe it`s the washer and not the dryer that steals the socks.
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.