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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend ā Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro ā Everyday chatting ā Ask number phone ā Messaging ā Calling ā Meeting ā Express love ā Make relationship status ā Hangout ā Misunderstanding ā Fight ā Break up ā Unfriend ā Block !THE END
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.
If stress burned calories, Iād be a super model.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.