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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....