Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look UPS guy, you can`t just show up at someone`s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
How long does it take to get obsessed?
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.