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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more sh!t that comes out your mouth.
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.