Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-