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I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do