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Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Ride me like you stole me.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
My wife accused me of spending too much time on Facebook. That’s funny, when did I get a wife?
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.