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It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
It`s time to take the next big step in my relationship by popping the question to my girlfriend ....will you get me a beer :) (<>..<>)
It needs more cowbell!!
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.