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Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.