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WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
I hate when the remote is way over there
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about