Daily Silly Status

Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.

I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.

Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.

I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.

You`re never too old to throw random sh*t in people`s shopping carts when they aren`t looking.

Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present

Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™

You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.

The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.

I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.

I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.

I dream about naps.

Don`t be afraid of a few extra pounds, fat people are much harder to kidnap.

Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session

Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.