Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.