Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.