Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
I don’t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective