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When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
Did we try giving the government a snickers?
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....