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It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.